Archives for July 2008
For Questionable Taste Theatre this week, I present a movie that had only two things wrong with it: GATTACA. (Those two things are Ethan Hawke. He’s so bad I counted him twice.) Nutshell: In the near future, when genetic modification of embryos is standard, Ethan Hawke is born as a lumbering “god-child” with no job prospects. Sick of his life (wouldn’t you be if you were Ethan Hawke?), he goes underground and assumes the identity of Jude Law, who at this point was actually someone whose life you’d want to… Read more »
It’s time for another Fun with Lobby Cards, wherein I take some promo photos from upcoming movies and try to guess what the hell the movie’s supposed to be about. Last time, The Duchess of Langeais showed her true colors. This time, we go into the future – the future… A.D. Join me for a tour through this Vin Diesel / Michelle Yeoh / Gerard Depardieu / Charlotte Rampling gem. “In the future, everyone lives in a 1998 Britney Spears video.”… Read more »
I’m not a huge fan of Westerns. I can count the Westerns I like on one hand and still have a finger left over. (Which finger depends on if I’m mad at you or not.) One of these precious few is a we’re-all-out-of-spaghetti Western, Two Mules for Sister Sara, which was distributed in Finland under the name A Fistful of Dynamite, which is weird since that’s a totally different movie, A Fistful of Dollars, which is sometimes distributed as Duck, You Sucker, which is really just proof that I’m right… Read more »
This week, Questionable Taste Theatre presents Rough Magic! Nutshell: Uh, it’s pretty impossible. Okay, so, magician’s assistant Myra Shumway is on track to marry a smarmy young Senator for reasons that are never explained, but she ends up changing her mind and going on the lam when her fiancé pops a cap in her boss. In el refugio Mexico, she’s tracked by Russell Crowe (back when he was still an actor and not that Australian guy everyone hates), a World War II vet and fedora-wearing private eye who falls for… Read more »
So, occassionally I will get a bee in my bonnet about a particular actor and go on a fevered quest for everything they’ve ever been in, which is how I end up paying eight thousand dollars for a VHS of The Linguini Incident, and paying a small smuggling operation to get me a copy of I Am Dina to round out my collection of weird-ass Maria Bonnevie movies. A while back, I got caught up with Queer as Folk (UK) and fell like a sack of bricks for Aidan Gillen.… Read more »

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