It’s time for another Fun with Lobby Cards, wherein I take some promo photos from upcoming movies and try to guess what the hell the movie’s supposed to be about.

Last time, The Duchess of Langeais showed her true colors.

This time, we go into the future – the future… A.D.

Join me for a tour through this Vin Diesel / Michelle Yeoh / Gerard Depardieu / Charlotte Rampling gem.

“In the future, everyone lives in a 1998 Britney Spears video.”

Into this dystopia is born a hot chick, blonde in her blondeness, and two great warriors must protect her!

…with their chest hair.

Too bad she likes chicks, Vin! (Fun fact: Michelle Yeoh can say, “Suck it, Vin Diesel,” in five languages.)

“Look, if you drink enough of this, you won’t even notice I’m a dude!”

Oh, Gerard.

Don’t you know Vin Diesel’s a teetotaler?

But at last, these adversaries have a heart-to-pecs, and out of love for their joint charge comes the only solution – the hot chick must be smuggled out of the city, at once, before it’s too late!

Even though Vin Diesel is clearly really sleepy, he takes on the task.

Bad news, though…

“We heard about the hot chick!”

Charlotte Rampling wonders if she needed the rent, or what.

Back at the ranch, hot chick is not going to take it sitting down. She has a NAME, fuckers, and it’s probably something like Agnes. Agnes will CUT YOU.

Now that she’s her own boss, Agnes decides to fuck this noise.

And she spends the rest of her life in a game of MYST.

THE END.