The Middleman’s preprogrammed autopilot destinations, in this order:

* Church
* The creamery
* Top-secret headquarters
* The duck pond.

No intro. Everyone knows how I feel about The Middleman. Instead, have two miniscule promotional thumbnails (come ON, ABC Family, release some of these in a decent size, fandom can’t pull icons out of nowhere!) and then right into the review, which contains a Young Riders shout-out, no lie:

“It may all seem like light and magic at first, but the next thing you know the walls are bleeding and you’ve got 25 pregnant women running around screaming “Mary, Mary, Mary!” and clawing their eyes out with knitting needles while your own hair grows to three times its length and tries to strangle you.”
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