Dress is done.

I am more pleased with it than I expected to be, though knowing that the owner of Costumer’s Guide will be there makes me want to put a sign that says “I Know It’s Not Historically Accurate, I’m Sorry” on my back. I mean, it’s so inaccurate I don’t have proper sleeves. My chemise is just some tulle.

The dress weighs close to ten pounds, according to my scale.

A snapshot from when the dress was almost finished; if you can ignore the vertigo, you get a nice look at the overall effect of the back, and of the suitcase that’s been sitting in my hallway for eight hundred years.

So, this week I have been building a Ludwig’s Folly of a ball gown for this weekend’s SalonCon. In typical fashion, I began the dress the Monday before I had to wear it, and have been staying up late sewing it. It’s almost finished, and it sort of sneezes in history’s direction. That means this week’s Questionable Taste Theatre had to be a movie that only sneezed in history’s direction. There are thousands of these movies, almost none of which I have seen. I narrowed the list to ones I had seen, which left…two. (I do not enjoy fun, apparently.)

However, not being fond enough of either one to devote a post to it, I’ve decided to let these guys duke it out! That’s right, it’s a Questionable Taste Theatre Cage Fight!

(Caveat emptor: I really don’t like either one of these movies. If you’re expecting a lovefest, uh, good luck?)

Each team has chosen to be represented by their badass-est actor.

Team A Knight’s Tale: Rufus “Bring me that Sweet Googly-Eye” Sewell

Team Ever After: Jeanne “I loved your voice-over in The Lover!” Moreau

No biting, no head-punches, no being mean to the old lady. GO!
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So, I have been away from the computer for three nights in a row, working on my dress, if “working on” means “cursing at”. I have finally settled on something I think will salvage the precious shards of my original hopes for this dress. Ironically, it will almost totally obscure the actual dress. At this point, I am fiiiine with that.

I looked for a long time for a picture that best encapsulates what I’m going through with this dress, but I feel like my construction problems, my fabric issues, and my design hubris are best expressed by the photo below. You guys, my dress looks like this:

This week’s Questionable Taste Theatre is a Danish movie from 2004 which I thought everyone had seen except that every time I mentioned it someone called the cops on me. Not my fault the movie exists, okay?

The movie? Strings.

Nutshell: This visual masterpiece follows a tragedy in the royal family of a kingdom of marionettes: the stupidest puppets in the entire world.

ETA: I have the trailer now! Check out the Danish action under the cut!

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My flash fic “Count” is up at Cabinet des Fées.

Looking at the TOCs for this and for the Journal of Mythic Arts farewell issue, I am struck by how much I love fairy tales; I mean, you think you’re a cool cat, and then suddenly you’re flailing over a Rackham illustration and you think, “Whoops, nope, there’s the glee!” *

* For certain values of “you” that probably only include “me”. To be fair, Rackham draws great costumes; it’s a stacked deck against me.