My article “10 Fantasy Movies that Ruined it for the Rest of Us” is up at Fantasy!

This article was a blast to write, and I had a hard time winnowing down the list. The sheer volume of shitty dragon movies could have scuttled the entire genre for the next hundred years, no joke. I maintain there has only ever been one good dragon movie ever made, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the entire movie is animated.

I’ll be writing a follow-up column about Legend, which some people seem surprised to find is not on this list. I’m surprised people think it should be, but I’ll get into that later.

I’m seeing Ladyhawke mentioned a lot, also, but I can take care of that here: Ladyhawke didn’t go on the list because it was a relatively sleek fantasy movie for its time.

-It used minimal special effects, which I think is key, because looking at a real wolf and a real falcon will always be nicer than looking at the CGI version.
- They used Rutger Hauer, Bad Guy Extraordinaire, as the hero Navarre. Automatic dark side. Love it.
- His hilarious thief sidekick was not a moron, which helps – he can be trusted with things, he’s smart enough to save his own skin, he grows and changes just as Navarre slowly grows and changes.
- The dialogue is really sharp – they keep the “thees” and “thous” to a minimum, try to cut out the most modern idioms, and let the rest take its course.
- Michelle Pfeiffer, who can act more then people seem to think, brings enpough life to her part that you can see not only the sorrowful woman she is now, but the joyful and snarky woman she used to be. The part could have been a cipher, but she knocked it out of the park.
-The bishop, aside from casting the initial spell/curse, has nothing but human greeds and foibles – he keeps a harem and wakes up sweaty from night terrors, and is really no more evil than many other men of power who had no spells at their disposal at all.

Is it flawed? Absolutely. Was Matthew Broderick annoying sometimes? Absolutely. Is the synthesizer music dated? Absolutely. Does the movie still hold up as an excellent example of low-budget, well-written, character-driven “realistic” fantasy? Absolutely. It’s a crossover fantasy that worked 23 years ago, and still works better than most modern fantasy movies. It doesn’t belong on my list, and I didn’t put it there.