Last night I got to see La Traviata at the Met. I took the super-cheap seats in the nosebleed section – absolutely last row, approximately half a mile above sea level, holy crap. I am not afraid of heights, but even I spent a moment hoping that, despite the flaky ceiling, the place would not collapse. That’s a long fall.

Anyway, the cheap seats are also where the students sit when their teacher makes them go see an opera so that can talk about it in their European Lit seminar. The place was overrun with expensively-dressed adolescents swapping spit in the middle of Violetta’s heartbreaking confrontation with Alfredo’s father, where he asks her to leave his son so his daughter’s engagement isn’t called off. Weeping, she reveals she’s dying of The TeeBee and couldn’t possibly leave Alfredo, and Dad’s like, “Oh, that’s sad – so, can I help you pack?”

(Anja Harteros knocks this out of the park, by the way. Most gorgeous Violetta I’ve ever heard. If you can spare 15 bucks, totally go.)

By the end of the second act (a huge set piece that looks like an honest-to-God ballroom, covered in extras, all with gorgeous costumes – Franco Zefferelli, ladies and gents) Alfredo and Violetta have violently parted – she for his sister’s sake, him because he’s a total assface and throws money at her in the middle of a party.

Intermission. The lights go up. Teenagers pile out of the cheap seats to go make out noisily in the hallway instead of in the seats.

One girl turns to her friend. “God, I hope they get back together soon!”

So, it was clearly somebody’s first opera last night!

Best part – in the last act, Violetta is in the last stages of The TB. The doctor says she has only a few hours to live – but she’s feeling better! She’s sad – but then Alfredo shows up! They’ll be together forever – coughing fit! Nope, nope, she’s fine, she’ll make it, oh bliss! – hang on, gotta sit down – What’s this? Strength fills her, she can take on the world, life is going to hand her every – FALLS DOWN DEAD.

So that girl had a really rollercoaster set of fake-outs, which was fun. (For me.)