Yesterday I promised to write about monster trucks for people who hated costumes, and I got called out on it. So, guess what I’m writing about today!

I will say that before I started researching monster trucks, I had no inking of the monster truck culture except that they like to yell in their commercials, and that their events always take place on Sunday.

…uh, it goes way beyond that.

First of all, monster trucks and their owners work in Westminster Dog Show teams, and the web sites all read like the moments during the show where the on-air commenters talk about how the dogs are thinking and feeling things. Typical monster-truck blurb:

Known by the glowing red headlights, Dennis Anderson and the Grave Digger have been thrilling fans for over 20 years.

So, what have I learned?

Monster trucks are alive, that’s what!

Alive and reaching out for you! These arms can crush 20 empty, matte-painted cars!

Those arms are 3D, too, you know. They are not playing.

Every monster truck site has shots of the truck that look like American Kennel Club registration photos:

Here, last year’s winner of the Best in Group – Non-Sporting. With that shiny coat, it’s no mystery why she won.

Some truck-parents take the more photojournalistic approach:

So much feeling in those eyes; it’s almost like they’re human, sometimes.

Of course, it’s not all work and play for these gentle beasts. They are playful pets, and are happiest when they can socialize with one another. And of course, there’s no beating the cuteness when two trucks are playing together:

Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head…

Jokes are often made about “stage mothers” taking the whole event too seriously. People worry: aren’t these adorable trucks over-groomed, over-stimulated, and over-competed? Shouldn’t they just be a family pet? Well, if you ask me, these proud parents could not take more care of their magnificent animals:

Look how happy that little buddy looks! These guys thrive on the spotlight.

Besides, there’s no reason to worry about the welfare of these beautiful babies; obviously safety is the first priority, and even in the show ring care is taken to make sure that things are smooth, uneventful, and perfectly safe:

…good doggy?