Today at Tor.com, I tackle a movie news week that is almost entirely reboots. Two things I realized while working on this column:

1. Seriously, this reboot thing has to stop. To this end, I will clearly be forced to send around a bunch of imaginary cards telling people to put that movie down RIGHT NOW. First up: Ridley Scott.

2. Kurt Wimmer is writing a reboot of Total Recall.

KURT WIMMER. From Equilibrium, which basically threw a bunch of dystopia flash cards in a hat, pulled them out at random, and added a gun kata. Now he’s in charge of updating a totally 80s and horribly problematic colonialism story hidden by a bunch of terrible effects with people’s eyes popping out. Young man, youputthatmoviedownrightnow.