Someday I will watch a movie or TV show that is well-made, and I will enjoy it deeply.

Today is not that day.

1. This morning, I posted my newest Abridged Classic, which gives you the astoundingly ridiculous, astoundingly shirtless, astoundingly racist Pathfinder. If you are one-tenth as appalled as I was when I was watching this movie for the first time, then I’ll be happy.

2. This afternoon, I wrote up the pilot of Defying Gravity for Tor.com. I wish I could have snarked it harder, or really dug into the underlying hilarity, but it’s so dull that trying to snark it meaningfully would just be like those infomercials where some poor disembodied pair of hands tries to cut a tomato with a conventional knife and nothing happens, and then you just worry that somehow the tomato knows what you did and will try to come after you when you sleep. Or something. I’m not watching it again, is what I’m saying. You are not even worth my ire, show!

(I mean, eventually there has to be SOMETHING good, right? Right?)