Aug 26 2009

Megan Fox ruins everything.

So, Megan Fox, acknowledged by all including her employers to be a suck actress, is in the running to be Catwoman. There are rumors she has already signed.

I took it straight to Tor.com, because some things just aren’t right, and Megan Fox being cast in roles that require actual acting is one of them. I let it go when her role was “Head Prostitute” in Jonah Hex (because where do you even BEGIN to complain about that?), but she’s been rumored for so many leading roles (most of them for comic-book projects) that there’s clearly something up.

To conclude: Christopher Nolan, do you have a concussion? First it was Katie Holmes, now it’s going to be Megan Fox, DEAR GOD NO JUST CAST RACHEL WEISZ ALREADY, DAMN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.


Aug 25 2009

Miss Universe: The recap.

Miss Universe is a beauty pageant that’s about more than just beauty. It’s a tribute to international cooperation. It’s a tribute to modern sensibilities.

It’s a tribute to Hostage Face.

“Come watch the dreams of dozens get mercilessly crushed!”
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Aug 25 2009

Fassbender Syndrome strikes again!

Well well, looks like Michael Fassbender is moving up in the world now that the new Tarantino movie is out!

(717%, people. Either that movie was much, much better than it looked, or he was not popular at ALL before this.)

You go, dude; I hope this makes up for being ousted from Wuthering Heights because of the unforgivable decay time has visited upon your dessicated corpse.


Aug 21 2009

Miss Universe: National Costume Contest

The best thing in the entire world has happened: the annual Miss Universe National Costume Contest. Every country took a different approach; most of them failed miserably, providing endless joy for yours truly!

A photo essay is below, though in case you’re thinking, “Is this a little tasteless for my browsing pleasure?”, please know that this is the outfit that WON.

If you looked at that picture and thought, “That’s just what I wore to my prom!”, you will LOVE this competition.

This is in no way safe for dial-up, or for your sense of a just and rational universe.

Weirdly, the Muppet thing is one of the least hysterical ones.
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Aug 20 2009

Questionable Taste Theatre: “The Hunger”

So, as part of my Strange Horizons post (which is still open for anyone who donated, BTW), I got a request for The Hunger.

I hadn’t seen The Hunger in maybe ten years. I wrote down my initial memories of the movie, just to see, and then watched the movie again.

Now, in real life I have the recall of a goldfish. Friends are constantly having to remind me about the year in which things happened, because if it’s not, “God, was that the year I saw Elizabeth, like, thirty times?” then I will have no idea when it was, what happened, or how I felt about it.

The Hunger? Was almost SHOT FOR SHOT what I remembered. So basically, I don’t remember my last year of high school, but I remember this movie. If that doesn’t scare you, nothing will.

My pre- and post-movie impressions, and one of the worst trailers ever made (not an exaggeration), under the cut!

“It’s a bruise. It will fade.”
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