Oct 7 2009

Four Reasons to Watch League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Alan Moore’s epic graphic novels about The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen have become steampunk classics, putting a new, Gothic twist on characters from Victorian literature and letting the technology enhance, rather than overwhelm, the complicated storyline.

The movie adaptation, unfortunately, mostly serves as proof positive that when Moore calls his work unfilmable, he has a good point. A box-office and critical flop, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (abbreviated LXG for marketing purposes) has served more as a cautionary tale than a movie in its own right. That said, for those who don’t mind a little schadenfreude, there’s comedy gold in them thar hills!

1. B-Movie Character Actor Theatre

Ignore Sean Connery and his shameless lens-hogging (if you can), and check out the ranks of veteran big-budget-B-movie actors filling out the cast: Tony Curran (Underworld), Jason Flemyng (Transporter 2), Stuart Townsend (Queen of the Damned), and Richard Roxburgh (Van Helsing).

Flemyng makes the rookie mistake of trying to do a good job in a bad movie, but the rest of them clearly took one look at the script and decided to have a field day by going as over-the-top as their meager screen time allowed. It’s worth the price of a rental just to watch Richard Roxburgh gnawing on scenery like it’s Victorian beef jerky.

2. The Dialogue

Why this movie hasn’t hit the midnight-show circuit is beyond me. The dialogue sounds suspiciously like lines pulled from early-90s cartoons and knocked together at random, and gets increasingly hilarious as you go along. Even the orphan snippets of Moore’s original writing sound bizarrely out of place in their own adaptation, and if Moore didn’t write it then it’s all downhill from there. If you don’t believe me, just wait until Sean Connery gets to smarm his way through, “My dear girl, I’ve buried two wives and many lovers…and I’m in no mood for more of either.”

…and knowing is half the battle.

3. The Gadgets

The spirit of Alan Moore’s novels is nowhere to be found in this film, but the gadgets were easier to bring to the screen, and even though the Victorian aesthetic is largely confined to libraries and the rest of the sets weirdly stark, the movie is still stuffed to the gills with the fancy trappings that have become a hallmark of steampunk style. Submarine shaped like a cigarette holder, anyone? How about a filigree sports coupe that can go 80 miles an hour while tipped on its side? (Don’t worry, everything will be fine; the American’s driving.)

4. What Not to Do

The movie is a veritable checklist of things to be wary of in steampunk (over-Matrixing the martial arts, excessive explosions, narrative incoherence, period shout-outs dropped like anvils at regular intervals). Much like seventh grade, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is a character-building experience that will prepare you for anything the world of steampunk has to throw at you. With any luck, in fact, the movie is just enough to get you interested in Moore’s graphic novels, which means you’re well on your way to getting your hands on some quality steampunk.

…and knowing that is half the battle.

[This piece originally appeared at Tor.com.]


Oct 7 2009

Reasons to watch League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Over at Tor.com, I wrote about four reasons to watch League of Extraordinary Gentlemen as part of any steampunk immersion. Sure, one of those reasons is just to witness its horribleness, but I think we all know that I believe that suffering through bad movies builds character.

I will say that the movie is remarkable quotable for something that is, in general, so bloodless and banal. I think Stuart Townsend steals the show when, during Dorian Gray’s fight with the vampiric Mina Harker, he moans, “We’ll be at this ALL DAY,” with the sort of over-the-top ennui that you rarely see in good movies.* It’s the sort of make-the-best-of-it feel that only comes from realizing you are cast in one of the shittiest movies of the year. I salute you, brave b-movie veterans!

(Please note that this movie is an example of a particular subculture; Movies with Richard Roxburgh Running. He’s the best runner in Hollywood. Yes, I’m serious. Yes, this is the kind of thing I think about.**)

* This is wonderful when you’re stuck in department meetings. Just imagine him busting in, dropping that line, and swanning right back out.

** Best example – Mission: Impossible II, the scene as he’s stealing the vials, running through the dark hallway. It’s so effortless!