I’ve been on the lookout for a nice conspiracy theory to get behind, and this is a perfect blending of my interests: namely, actors, and things in museums.

The theory: Keanu Reeves is immortal and/or a vampire.

The proof: HIS FACE. Also, this painting:

Technically, this is actor Paul Mounet, who died in 1922 under mysterious circumstances and didn’t leave a body behind.

…BECAUSE HE’S KEANU REEVES. (Bad actor in the last century, bad actor now. IT’S LIKE MAGIC.)

At last, believing that the moon landing happened and that Elvis is actually dead is no impediment to having something totally irrational I can champion relentlessly! (Hint: This is probably not that irrational. That dude hasn’t aged a day since My Own Private Idaho. Or since 1847, I guess.)