I wanted to tune into White Collar as soon as I heard it was a funny, lightweight show about smart people outsmarting other smart people. I like a few of USA’s other shows, but they tend to be like Psych, where smart people outsmart dumb people, or like Burn Notice, where I just can’t stop staring at the raw sinew in Gabrielle Anwar’s neck. (You were so awesome in The Three Musketeers! Why did Hollywood tell you that you had to weigh 80 pounds?)

(Enjoy this visual metaphor for everyone’s relationships!)

And all told, the pilot was kind of awesome.

Spoilahs!

They managed to sidestep a lot of possible problems: the plot introduced a vague arc that can carry over the season while neatly wrapping up the A-plot in an hour, which by Friday is all I can handle, I’ll admit it. There was also more than one person of color, all of whom were FBI agents and none of whom were criminals, and one of the background characters was this amazing and alluring older woman (hey-o!) who used to play illegal poker, and flirts shamelessly with Neal Caffrey the just-released con man, and invites him to live in her house (hey-ooo!), and she would basically be my favorite except that Tim DeKay is my favorite.

Fun facts about Tim DeKay: I first saw him in SeaQuest (I AM NOT PROUD), but I was so young it must not have registered. I first remember seeing him in The Crow: Salvation, where he was under a different name. You can’t hide from The Crow, DeKay!

He can’t even hide from the sun, which is all up in his business all the time trying to get his phone number.

Solar harassment!

Anyway, he’s the grumpy FBI agent too smart for his peers and too behind-the-times to know about the fibers from the most recent Canadian hundred-dollar bill, which is where Neal Caffrey (Matt Bomer) comes in handy, since he’d like to be out of prison and DeKay would like to find out where all this con man shit comes from.

There’s not a whole lot here to unpack; it’s a good-time cop show with a snarky guy and a smarmy guy. My only complaint so far is that there’s not much for the show’s women to do, but I have reason to believe that will change sooner rather than later, so I’m more than willing to hang in there.