Beyond Sherwood Forest: The Fantasy of Robin Hood?
Beyond Sherwood Forest: The Fantasy of Robin Hood?Syfy’s weekly original movies are generally good for two things: 1) Mansquito. 2) Saying, “Sure, this is bad, but it’s no Mansquito.” However, even SyFy’s single-minded quest to make the worst movies ever hit a snag this weekend, when they presented Beyond Sherwood Forest. It’s Robin Hood, with a dragon, and it should have been awful.…
“A Garden in Bloom” in The Clockwork Jungle Book
Shimmer has released The Clockwork Jungle Book! I’m in it, alongside flisters Amal El-Mohtar and Rajan Khanna and a bunch of other awesome writers. (Also, the cover just kills me, it’s so awesome.) My story is titled “A Garden in Bloom,” and follows the adventures of a shipping magnate who knows just what to do with his disposable income: The day Pieter van der Rijsen received news that he had made his fortune, he commissioned the garden.…
I don’t want to jump in unless this music’s thumpin’
Apparently my favorite Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers number, from Carefree, has gotten the chop, so I can’t repost it here and talk about why Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers remain one of my favorite screen pairs of all time. (Hint: because they are awesome.) Also, good news: the movie was slightly better than I remembered, because at least Fred wasn’t the guy who clocked Ginger.…
New Moon: The Bad, The Worse, and the WTF.
Okay, I had so many issues with this movie I cannot even begin. Luckily, this covers most of them. The line report, movie notes, and me freaking out, below the cuts! Please note: in the interest of thoroughness, this post is epically long. My bad. The line was smaller than last year (because we went to a smaller theatre), and we stood calmly in the back-and-forth of velvet ropes.…
Ten Things You Should Know about New Moon
So, after I gave a stab at being vaguely professional over at Tor.com, Fantasy Magazine offered me a chance to drop all pretense. I gently turned them down, saying, “There really wasn’t that much more of the movie to make fun of.” Then I laughed and laughed, and wrote them Ten Things You Should Know about New Moon.…
New Moon
New MoonThere’s a moment early in New Moon where Edward walks up to Bella in painfully-extended slow motion for their morning “No, I love you more”s. Proto-werewolf Jacob Black materializes to wish Bella a happy birthday. As Bella and Jacob talk, Edward stands a few feet away, glowering; when Bella hugs Jacob goodbye, Jacob makes a face at Edward over Bella’s utterly oblivious head, as music pounds behind them all.…