Archives for November 2009
Beyond Sherwood Forest: The Fantasy of Robin Hood?
Syfy’s weekly original movies are generally good for two things: 1) Mansquito. 2) Saying, “Sure, this is bad, but it’s no Mansquito.” However, even SyFy’s single-minded quest to make the worst movies ever hit a snag this weekend, when they presented Beyond Sherwood Forest. It’s Robin Hood, with a dragon, and it should have been awful. Shockingly, it wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it was no great shakes either, but it was just as entertaining as any episode of the recent BBC series. Better, it felt like there was a… Read more »
Shimmer has released The Clockwork Jungle Book! I’m in it, alongside flisters Amal El-Mohtar and Rajan Khanna and a bunch of other awesome writers. (Also, the cover just kills me, it’s so awesome.) My story is titled “A Garden in Bloom,” and follows the adventures of a shipping magnate who knows just what to do with his disposable income: The day Pieter van der Rijsen received news that he had made his fortune, he commissioned the garden. It has as much faith in humanity as you would expect, coming from… Read more »
Apparently my favorite Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers number, from Carefree, has gotten the chop, so I can’t repost it here and talk about why Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers remain one of my favorite screen pairs of all time. (Hint: because they are awesome.) Also, good news: the movie was slightly better than I remembered, because at least Fred wasn’t the guy who clocked Ginger. (The rest of the movie makes no sense. Never has, never will. There is a whole song about yams! There’s nowhere you can go from there!)… Read more »
Okay, I had so many issues with this movie I cannot even begin. Luckily, this covers most of them. The line report, movie notes, and me freaking out, below the cuts! Please note: in the interest of thoroughness, this post is epically long. My bad. The line was smaller than last year (because we went to a smaller theatre), and we stood calmly in the back-and-forth of velvet ropes. For an hour and a half. (Hint: after an hour and a half, no line is calm.) At 11:55, the theatre… Read more »
So, after I gave a stab at being vaguely professional over at, Fantasy Magazine offered me a chance to drop all pretense. I gently turned them down, saying, “There really wasn’t that much more of the movie to make fun of.” Then I laughed and laughed, and wrote them Ten Things You Should Know about New Moon. 7. There is a dreadful shirt shortage on the La Push reservation. Luckily for young werewolves who shred their clothes when making the transformation, the forests of the Pacific Northwest are an… Read more »
New Moon
There’s a moment early in New Moon where Edward walks up to Bella in painfully-extended slow motion for their morning “No, I love you more”s. Proto-werewolf Jacob Black materializes to wish Bella a happy birthday. As Bella and Jacob talk, Edward stands a few feet away, glowering; when Bella hugs Jacob goodbye, Jacob makes a face at Edward over Bella’s utterly oblivious head, as music pounds behind them all. This pretty much sets the tone for New Moon, a sequel to last year’s angsty steamroller, Twilight. Twilight was unevenly acted,… Read more »

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