So, after I gave a stab at being vaguely professional over at Tor.com, Fantasy Magazine offered me a chance to drop all pretense. I gently turned them down, saying, “There really wasn’t that much more of the movie to make fun of.”

Then I laughed and laughed, and wrote them Ten Things You Should Know about New Moon.

7. There is a dreadful shirt shortage on the La Push reservation. Luckily for young werewolves who shred their clothes when making the transformation, the forests of the Pacific Northwest are an excellent natural source of jean cutoffs.

Still to come: a blow-by-blow of the evening, including the stampede, which will never stop being horrifying/funny.