So, among the many graduates of Awesome British Actor Camp, there’s a little subculture of actors who are probably perfectly nice people who enjoy things like accounting and pinochle. Unfortunately, they have a particular aura about them that make them look like escapees from a gang of creepers.

If they really were a gang, and nine of them were being chosen to go up to the Bronx to hear Cyrus give his big speech, Cillian Murphy would be the leader. Dude is an awesome actor, but no one is ever surprised when he turns into a total raging revenge murderer an hour into 28 Days Later, is all I’m saying.

Second one chosen would be Hans Matheson.

If you need more evidence than his face, keep reading.

Hans is a very good actor, though without a steady directorial hand his acting can tip into overacting.

On the other hand, most of the time it’s not his fault; there’s only so far you can rise above the material when everyone looks like this. (P.S. I see what you did here, Duncan Idaho!)

Mists of Avalon was the first time I saw him, and even though the whole miniseries was just a mess (Joan Allen, you put that period piece away RIGHT NOW), he was far from the worst thing in it (Samantha Mathis was! We’ll tackle this later), and he managed some good beats almost despite the script. His face when he discovers his parentage is great.

On the other hand, when you get your big break playing Mordred, fighting the creeper vibe is an uphill battle. Forever.

After that he got a bigger break in Les Miserables, playing Marius, who’s sort of intense under the best conditions, and was an absolute stalker when Matheson played him. It’s not his fault, honest! He was just born under a creepy star! He never blinks!

Lest you think I’m out to get him, let me point out what a sad percentage of his movies I own, and allow me to stress again how nice he probably is. He plays the fiddle!

I’m just saying, there’s something about him, even when he’s playing decent characters, like in Bathory:

…no comment.

My favorite film of his is Canone Inverso, a movie which I bought off eBay and had converted as soon as I was able to find it. (I was in college, and had not really discovered the internet yet. I’m still surprised I knew about eBay.)

In it, he plays a violin genius attending Violin Genius School, who has a love/hate relationship with another violin genius, Lee Williams (who, let’s face it, was really weird in The Forsyte Saga: To Let, and creepy as shit in the Wolves of Kromer, and probably also has a slot in the Creepers):

But even he thinks Hans’s thousand-yard stare is a little much. You’re in class, dude! Just daydream about sex like everyone else!

Anyway, after accidentally-unsettling turns in I am Dina (with the amazing Marie Bonnevie), Doctor Zhivago, and The Tudors, his agent got him a role in Sherlock Holmes, playing Lord Coward. Here’s how that went.

[Hans appears.]

Me, whispering to my mom: He’s evil.
Mom: How do you know?
Me: …he’s onscreen.

[Two minutes later, Lord Coward is revealed to be an intense creep.]

Mom: Oh, this is Hans Matheson!

I’m just saying.

Picture source: hansmatheson.org. H may be a little odd, but he’s easy on the eyes.