Yes, ladies, keep your allure; if there’s one thing guys hate, it’s a glimpse of a lady’s stocking. A thousand pinups in slacks would agree!

The thing I like most about these pictures are these two actors, who are flat-out hilarious in this. I hope it was a fun photo shoot, because they really sell this date as the worst thing ever, even though things get increasingly amazing.

I mean, these facial expressions are priceless. These are the faces of a couple who cannot wait for their marriage counselor (just out of frame) to suggest a divorce.

From here, the date gets awesome.

First of all, the second sentence is so amazing that they don’t even punctuate it, so you can fill that in for yourself (I prefer a nice, skeptical question mark). But also, how badass is our Debbie Dater for giving this guy a little shit by chatting to the headwaiter about how much cooler a previous date was? That’s what you get for giving her stinkeye while she was fixing her stockings, dude!

She is not even pretending to be upset about this. She is going for a knife with her other hand, that is how much she is not even trying to cry. (He is practicing his Running for Senate face.)

I’m sorry, this is just amazing.

And the headwaiter scores a touchdown! (My favorite part of this is the dude scribbling in his notebook. What is there to write? “Date results not favorable. Am left short ten bucks for the beer, plus cost of laundering hanky.”)