The website for The Living Dead 2 is live! There are a ton of goodies on the site, including early reviews and a series of author interviews.

I have a story in this one, and it’s one of eight stories available on the site as a preview.

“And the Next, and the Next” takes place on Coney Island, home of the Warriors and the Wonder Wheel, and a place about which it’s almost impossible not to have feelings of some kind. (Unless you’re a zombie, I guess – and even then…)

Anyway, take a look around the site: I’m really excited to be a part of this anthology!

(Thanks to my sister for this picture. I’d dedicate the story to her, too, since she was the person who visited Coney Island with me the first time I ever went, but it seems kind of mean to be like, “So I wrote a story about the mindless, doomed hordes – and I dedicated it to you!” That’ll give somebody a complex.)

This is not actually about the mechanics of elevators; I have no idea how elevators work-work. However, I feel like some people might need a primer on how elevators Work – taking the invisible, unspoken social contract of personal space and making some cartoons out of it because people in elevators are starting to really confuse me.

So, here’s an elevator with one person in it. We’ll call this person Bill.

Having an elevator to yourself is a dream come true! Spread your arms wide, twirl, relish your tiny, ascending luxury apartment. Do the Mashed Potato if you want!

As more people enter the elevator, things obviously get more cramped and more complicated (now if you want to dance you’ll probably have to partner up, and that gets awkward, and it’s a whole thing.)

But in general, the rule of thumb for anyone with the common sense of a pigeon would be to maintain some kind of equilibrium in the space between people, while trying to avoid blocking the doors until it can’t be helped any more.

So, as the elevator fills up, it looks like any combination of these:

In each of these, people are attempting to give each other a little cushion of space. Bill is fine with this. This is how elevators work. Everyone’s doing a very good job of elevatoring.

(In one of those elevators, we’re actually ready for a game of Simon.)

Sometimes people know each other and are talking (usually at 50 decibels, about something awkward like state secrets or baby poop), and things go off-balance a little. That’s okay! We’re still fine:

Sometimes there is just nothing for it, and you are in an elevator during rush hour, and it’s like this:

And that’s also fine! It’s an elevator, not a park. You try to avoid the guy who’s bringing his bike up with him, and you get out of the elevator, and you live your life.

This, on the other hand, is the one I have been experiencing a lot recently:

I mean, I am pretty sure that unless someone is translucent, there is no reason for this configuration to happen. And yet, it has happened to me so often that I’m turning into that jerk who stands right near the button panels even if the place is mostly empty. But what can I do? Crime begets crime!

I guess the rule of thumb is this: if you are close enough to someone to perform dental work on them, and there is space available elsewhere, maybe consider sidling a few inches. Enjoy your stay in the elevator!

More fun writing news today: “Bespoke” is up at Podcastle! I haven’t listened yet (*shakes fist at office computer’s lack of speakers*), but I’m excited! Give it a listen, if you’re so inclined.

I found out this morning that my story “Light on the Water” has been nominated for A World Fantasy Award, alongside some seriously amazing work.

I am still reeling a little, but I gotta say, news like this has a way of making one’s morning.

Last year I covered Miss Universe’s National Costume Contest. I didn’t realize when this year’s was, but it was pointed out that pictures were out and I had better get started.

I’m not sure who the actual winner of this event is (I think that doesn’t happen until Monday?). Since I have a different criteria than the judges of the pageant – they enjoy “bras that look like eyeballs” and I enjoy “Icelandic schoolmarm” – I wasn’t sure exactly how to go about picking a winner of my own.

I looked for overwhelming trends this year (including Nonsense Capes, Escape from Prom Island, I Was a Project Runway Challenge, and Shit You Have to Carry), but I finally stumbled across a picture that made me realize the difference between perception of these national costumes and their reality.

This is Japan’s national costume.

First of all, and I mean this: way to improve over last year, everyone. Sure, it’s completely over the top, but this is Miss Universe, not the Parade of Dignity, so whatever. And yes, she’s holding a fan as tall as she is, but hey, you guys got the memo about Shit You Have to Carry, so you’re just doing your job.

But, uh, here’s what it looks like in person.

In which pretty much no one learns a damn thing from last year, except Canada.
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