[Content warning: rape.] Rape victims: This is an important time in your life. With so many details to attend to, here’s a checklist to make sure you’re not missing out. If you report, remember to make it to the hospital immediately for a rape kit that will never be tested in the backlog of thousands.…

The list of celebrities who had their pictures stolen numbers over seventy-five. Some of them aren’t even capitalized; not names, really. They’re just folders where the prizes go. Jennifer Lawrence is on the list. Perez Hilton posted those, for those who might otherwise have had trouble finding them fast enough. The question went out quick on its heels: Is her career over?…

Sometimes I tell friends to watch things that are awful. It’s harder if the only recommendation I have is, “No, you can’t imagine how bad it is until you see it.” It gets more awkward if it’s something I found during one of my down-the-rabbit hole Netflix fugue states, where I snap out of it the next day and realize I’ve watched seven movies, each worse than the last, until I nearly rewatched Blood of Beasts, a “Viking” Beauty and the Beast story where the only part that ever stays with me is where she offers to help her bear-suit captor wash up by pressing a damp washcloth gingerly to his shoulder three times, the end.…

Well, it has been a YEAR, hasn’t it? (I mean, it has been – 366 days have passed – but you know, thematically.) This year was a very satisfying one for writing. I published several short stories, some of which are particularly close to my heart. Plus, and maybe most exciting in terms of my writing in 2012, I closed the year with the sale of a novel that I truly love – my flapper Twelve Dancing Princesses take, Glad Rags.…

A thing happened this morning, regarding Jessica Biel, and I got feelings. I don’t like Biel. I think she’s one of the most wooden actresses working today, and she’s skated by on her admittedly-lovely bone structure for pretty much the duration. If you want to criticize her wedding to a total jackass and their total-jackass wedding slideshow debacle, you absolutely should, because that shit was not okay!…

So, I have developed a strange, awkward, openly hateful relationship with the Twilight movies. To round off this mess in the spirit of it all, tomorrow I’ll be seeing Breaking Dawn 2: Stuff That Didn’t Fit into The First Part, and Also Jacob Staring at a Toddler He’s Gonna Marry. Mike’s face is my face, about all of this.…