Dec 7 2011

“Neverland”

SyFy, in its long tradition of excellent decisions, tackled another new take on a classic fantasy. It’s had a spotty history with that; Tin Man gave me hives, Alice had 99 problems but came out on the fondly-cheesy side of awful.

With Neverland, they re-imagined the origins of Peter Pan: how he discovered Neverland, his history with Hook, and how everything came to be just before Wendy Moira Angela Darling and siblings stopped by.

It…was.

I find I always have a little trouble with workmanlike things; the effects were cheesy but not painful, the performances that succeeded did so despite the dialogue, and the plot was like a resolute game of duck-duck-goose dutifully touching on elements of canon in turn. (And then they made Charles Dance talk very seriously about the magical spheres that harness astral energy to bring you to Neverland, because SyFy is super huge on the tangible portals to its fantasy worlds.)

Having devoted four hours of my life to this miniseries, I feel obliged to review it somehow, but this picture of Peter, frozen by magic, pretty much sums up my feelings:

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Oct 24 2011

“Once Upon a Time”


(Actual promo photo. Take heed.)

As a fan of fairy tales, and someone who is more than willing to watch Robert Carlyle masticate some scenery one night a week, I went into Once Upon a Time thinking it might be able to overcome its two leads (the sometimes-interesting Gennifer Goodwin and the always-mediocre Jennifer Morrison) and present enough worldbuilding to keep me interested. It was not a particularly uphill battle, until the show actually started.

What the show says it’s about: fairy tales, and families, and an epic mystery between two worlds, and the power of story, and how to live in a world without happy endings (this is stressed a LOT, to the point that villains say things like, “This IS my happy ending!” about their dastardly deeds, as awkwardly-costumed fairy tale denizens sob and wail “Noooo!” and cradle the bodies of their dead husbands who were killed by guards because even though they were in danger there were only two easily-defeatable men-at-arms on duty, which sort of makes you think the Evil Queen is not so much Evil as she is Better-Staffed).

What the show is actually about: mommy issues. And not the delightful, twisted mommy issues that make up the backbone of so many of our classic fairy tales, and which I would absolutely be down for some nice chewing over, but instead the sort of mommy issues that make your eyebrows disappear into your hairline.

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Sep 27 2011

Various and sundry.

Most of my brain time the last few weeks has vanished into writing, family time, and cleaning house in an attempt to avoid writing.

Sure, there are movies coming up (the mid-90s Beauty and the Phantom homage Rigoletto probably being first on the block, because a movie that disturbing must have been a DOOZY to see as a kid), but before you can blog a movie you have to screencap a mile in its shoes, etc., and somehow I haven’t been able to bring myself to go back and watch the whole movie again. I will! I just…need time. Time in which to test all my pens and throw out the ones that don’t work any more, and then arrange them by color in my pen holder I made from a mug, because I was too lazy to get a real pen holder, and let’s face it, the mug does a perfectly good job. (Before you judge, let me say, if you were sitting through a movie about how a questionable relationship with the close-talker at the top of the hill rockets a preteen to stardom just in time for somebody to be beaten to death only not really because of magical fairy tales about true love that apparently relate to said preteen, you would also be looking for excuses to do something else.)

However, even after all the pens have been tested, there are things left to do, which seems unthinkable, and yet.

First of all, things I am planning on leaving the house for in the near future:

Oct. 14-16: Capclave. I always have fun at this con, with the bonus of getting to see my DC-area family for a little while. (Part of my blog quietness is due to family time, and it’s always nice when the train to DC overlaps family and work.)

Oct. 29.5 – 30: World Fantasy. (This will also be immediately preceded by family time. In fact, as it turns out, I’ll be at the con a little over 36 hours; we’ll see how THAT goes! It will go with vats of coffee, I’m guessing.)

Second of all, things I would LIKE to leave the house for generally include walking the second leg of my trip to and from work, which is usually delightful at this time of year, but because of weather conditions has instead become a self-guided walking tour of a fetid swamp occasionally enhanced with bus fumes. I have continued to make the walk, but it’s so bad that commuters and early-morning joggers all eye each other back and forth as if determining whose fault the humidity is, or who’s more foolish for being out in it. (Joggers.) However, it’s still worth it to get the walk in, especially the morning shift, when there are long lines of judgey pigeons sitting along building ledges, just awake enough to glare at you but not really ready to begin their daily routine of harassing tourists.

Third of all, new fall TV is coming through, but I’m having a little Review Ennui, largely because I have yet to sit through any of the pilots I tried so far and think, “Season Pass!” Or even, in most cases, “I will watch the second half of this episode!” Have I just become a curmudgeon of epic proportions, or is this fall a little watery-gruel in terms of new TV? (This is even excluding obvious comedy gold like Unforgettable, whose tagline is, “She can do anything but forget,” and whose ads all feature her saying, “I can’t forget!” and/or “I remember!”)

I mean, I’m all for avoiding writing by watching TV (I’m all out of pens, I have to do something), but so far all that’s happened is actual writing, which is productive yet mildly disconcerting.


Sep 19 2011

Emmys 2011: Red Carpet Rundown

So, the Emmys happened! I didn’t watch (there’s no point, plus since Cate Blanchett lost the Oscar to Gwyneth Paltrow there’s no justice etc.), but I hear that overall, things went well. Plus, Downton Abbey won some things! That’s great news! That damn show and what it does to my blood pressure is something we shall speak of another time. Or, if you follow my Tumblr, I have already spoken of it multiple times and we’re all set.


(From left: Elizabeth McGovern in a lovely dress, Joanne Froggatt in one of those dresses that you know makes you feel like a princess right until the photos roll in and you realize your costars are Amazons and you have made a mistake about proportions, and Michelle Dockery, who is wearing a really great dress to which someone has inexplicably added one of those cutouts the vampire queens always have in their armor so the hero can get the stake through it.)

Thank the ladies of Downton Abbey, who are demonstrating several of the red carpet trends this year: lots of red, textured neutrals (and black!), some purple, and one really awkward thing in every picture.

In fact, let’s get right to the incomplete but completely nerdy Red Carpet Rundown, shall we?

This is, for me, a short post. That means only ONE bajillion pictures.
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Sep 12 2011

Miss Universe 2011

Miss Universe! Yes, it’s that time again, when hopeful young ladies gather from all around the world to grin their beautiful hostage grins into the camera, and to be dressed like fools in “National Dress” by horrible pageant planners secretly trying to test what young ladies are willing to wear on camera.

That answer came back: Practically anything.

I have tried to look at this and understand what happened. In the past, this category has been spectacularly awesome (Thailand!) or hilariously fun (the national costume of Iceland is dignity!). This year is what I can only term a Hot Mess, with Intermittent Laughter.

This year also seems to be the year that the always-fantastical undercurrent of this whole glittery mess went from subtext to text:

Tanzania, auditioning for a role in the inevitable Metropolis remake, and/or putting mortal fear into her enemy contestants. Either way, SUCCESS.

However, she had some serious competition in the Science Fiction and Fantasy category.

Under this cut, a bajillion pictures.
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