Disclaimer: I don’t care about Valentine’s Day except that it gives me a chance to make a list post. I am the Switzerland of Valentine’s day. (Unless people ask me if I’m excited for my “name day,” and then I sigh, because seriously, that joke was old in fourth grade, it’s old now.)

- Michael Fassbender. You inexplicably turn me all caps, big guy. Can’t wait to see you in your disastrous Wuthering Heights next year.

- Star Fleet wallets. I am the bird! (God, did I ever leave the house as an adolescent? Don’t answer that.)

- Family and friends. Dear Mom, I love you so much. Sorry I’m not changing my name. Apologize to Grandma for me.

- Fassbender, my portable computer. It allows me to be rude in public whenever I want.

- My TV. It took away the dialogue track for this week’s Eleventh Hour. It was amazing. Graeme Revell, one of my favorite composers, gave me a little concert, and I got to see the worst arch-enemy arc in recent memory. See for yourself at Tor.com!

ETA: And I never have to watch another episode of Dollhouse now that I turned in my opinion piece to Fantasy, which makes this day practically Thanksgiving!

Yes, good morning, hi, I’d like to return my hope for future generations? Is this the right place?

Yeah, it is.

That shirt says: “Edward and Jacob – rising the standards for men everywhere”

Rising the standards.

…can I also get a refund on my goodwill towards humanity? Thanks.

Lo, that was a serious con.

“Then I was all like, I’ll go to Comic Con Saturday, the busiest day, that’s not overwhelming or ill-advised whatsoever! Awesome!”
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Phantom of the Opera sequel in the works.

The follow-up to “Phantom,” which debuted in 1986 with Michael Crawford in the lead role, will take place a decade after the original, with the story set on Brooklyn’s Coney Island.

“It was the place,” Lloyd Webber said. “Even Freud went because it was so extraordinary … people who were freaks and oddities were drawn towards it because it was a place where they could be themselves.”

And the Phantom, who perishes at the end of the original musical, will reunite with lost love Christine. The iconic roles have yet to be cast. “We are pretty clear who our Phantom is going to be — I can’t say who,” Lloyd Webber said.

Well, check out this scoop. I already know who it is.

Christiiiiine, come out to plaaaaaaay….

You know it would be amazing! You KNOW it would. Mme. Giry would kill so many Turnbull ACs with that cane it would not even be funny.

This is going to be the best sequel of all time, except for that sequel to Les Mis where Marius and Cosette move to St. Louis and she pops out three kids and gets bored and starts taking night classes at community college trying to do something with her life, and he starts drinking because of the stress down at the plant, and then at the end Eponine shows up to promote her hugely successful self-help book “Hopeless Causes: How to Break Away When The Guy You Like Only Notices You Once You’re Riddled with Bullet Holes,” and when she sees Marius he begs her to forgive him and run away with him and she cracks up and is like, “Peace out, suckers!” and she and Gavroche jump in their convertible and drive off towards California.

There’s finally a news release about the high-speed chase from my drive back from the train station.

The guy was peeing on the street, and when a cop asked him to quit it and/or made a move to arrest him for street-peeing, he leapt into his car and sped off, hit another car and spun out (and nearly hit us), and got shot at a few times before the nine police cars were able to catch him. Unsurprisingly, they discovered said dude was wasted.

Clearly there’s more here than just being drunk (my vote is smuggling, Mom’s vote is Mafia), but it’s always a shame when people get so drunk that they forget every episode of Law and Order they’ve ever seen. Everyone knows that if you’re ahead of the forty-minute mark, you can sometimes bullshit your way out of charges, but anyone who runs is automatically guilty.

While trying to escape (from the crash we were almsot in), the dude tried to run over a cop, so now he’s going down for some serious jail time. How wasted are you when you try to run over a cop?