Guess what I just finished watching.

My only regret is that you can only watch it for the first time once. Never again will I watch this scene and say, "Holy crap, is he unbuckling his pants?" and not know the answer.

Hint: Yes.

More on this movie later, when I have more coherent thoughts.

The fourth-best man-raised-by-rats movie in the world is currently winging its way to me. Friday night will be the first viewing, post office willing. Friday night +30 minutes is probably when I will turn it off for having too much gore. (I’m a weenie.)

The best part of this picture is how grumpy he looks, as if all he wanted was to swan around with his velvet cape in peace, and the cameraman totally ruined his afternoon.

I am so excited about a new movie. I don’t like going to the theatre and, when I have time, I find myself rewatching old favorites just as often as looking for new movies, so sometimes three months go by without me seeing a new movie. I NEVER watch horror movies, and even action movies have to be pre-approved, since a lot of them just raise my blood pressure. This movie is a huge departure for me, and I am only going to watch it with the understanding that it has a responsibility to be hilarious. If it weirds me out and I have to stop watching I’m going to be really sad. However, with promo stills like the one above, I think it’s smooth sailing for the Laugh Boat.

However, I am SUCH a dork about this new movie that I am already thinking about writing up my favorite movies – some of which are good, some of which are awful, some of which tread some horrible line in the middle that I can never figure out – and display my questionable taste to the world at large. I’m thinking that Thursdays will be Questionable Taste days until I run out of favorite movies.

So as of tomorrow, it’s Questionable Taste season!

Movies Already Questioned

1. The Polar Bear King – a tale of a life-size animatrionic polar bear puppet, and the woman who loved him.

2. The Warriors – the story of a bunch of apeshit-crazy gang members who kick asses on a desperate run from the Bronx to Coney Island.

ETA: 3. The Red Shoes! Man, how could I forget the “kids’ movie” that turned me into the freak I am today. The box cover says it all, people.

YOU GUYS.

Girl alert – I loved A Room with a View. It’s the lemon-frosted cupcake of film; what’s not to like? And of course I crushed out on George Emerson, just like any other girl who sat at home on Friday nights in high school clutching her life-size Jane Austen pillow and sighing over a guy whose idea of summer wear is a three-layer linen suit and a big straw hat. Julian Sands played this oddball with happy intensity, and all was right with the world.

Then, Julian Sands was in Boxing Helena, and after that I couldn’t look at him any more, and that’s all I have to say about that movie that isn’t said in all caps as I flail like I’m covered in beetles.

I still haven’t gotten over that movie, to the point that when I saw him in a YouTube clip today I clicked away instantly, thinking it was from Warlock or something, but then I realized that it was a romantic songvid (don’t ask) and so Warlock it was not.

You know what it was?

It was his role as THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.

How did I live this long without knowing about this movie? Well, I am taking care of that THIS WEEKEND.

I’m excited! It has some markers for genius filmaking: namely, changing the storyline (now the Phantom is raised by rats, you guys. Not deformed, just, you know, raised by rats), and Julian Sands’ wig, which is so bad that every time this music video cuts to him, I laugh out loud. I’ve seen this video four times. No joke, I laugh out loud. Every. Time. How many comedies can boast a 100% rate of return on a joke?

If you need further evidence that this movie about a bewigged rat-child stalking an opera singer who wears transparent dresses and runs around alone at night is worth seeing, check out the trailer, featuring a lighthearted operetta moment as people are violently butchered!

Oh, my GOD.

Oh, this weekend is gonna be AWESOME.