…exactly as deep as a DVD.

I’m talking about The Fifth Element over at Tor.com today, because it’s usually the first movie I watch every year. Mainly because I love a sci-fi hero who’s like, “Can I get more roses on my black velvet jumpsuit? I just feel like right now it’s so….subdued.”

Then I watch movies all day long on January 1 because I’m 1) a movie nerd and 2) a big lump.

Probable choices:

Strange Days, though to be fair this usually has to happen on New Year’s Eve so you can watch in real time as Ralph Fiennes shoves his tongue against Angela Basset’s tonsils. (Not even kidding! It looks like that kiss from Top Secret when Val Kilmer sticks his tongue in his own cheek and rolls it around!) Plus, you can’t watch this movie in daylight; it shines through all the plot holes.

After Fifth Element, it’s Soapdish. Why? Because it’s two things I like: peppy, and cheap. Peppy and cheap.

Then Cold Comfort Farm, aka Awesome British Actor Camp, because it’s what I were always made for.

Once it’s dark (which is what, 3pm?) it’s THE WARRIORS OH MY GOD. I have purposely not watched this movie in three months to save it up for New Year’s, and I am more excited than a sixteen-year-old waiting for a Robert Pattinson poster signing at Hot Topic.

YOU GUYS, HAPPY NEW YEAR.