Attention everyone who feels like howling with laughter tonight:

I’m just saying.

I will probably not be able to resist liveblogging some of this. If so, I’ll slap a cut up here to save people’s eyes.

9:05 Faye Dunaway is in this. She is attempting an accent; I’m guessing Cottonmouthian? (Faye, honey, was rent due? Tell me rent was due.)

9:10 This character’s name is Declan Fitzpatrick. That’s genius.

9:18 It would be awesome if this turned into some kind of J-horror and all the wind-moan sounds were from some girl trapped in a well or something.

9:20 Their copyright-free search engine is “WEB SEARCH.” They stole my idea!

9:38 Jerry goes for some supernatural help for the house, gets freaked out during a palm-reading, and leaves without asking for help for the house. I am not surprised his counterpart in the past met such an avoidable end.

9:42 The one next week has Ivan Sergei in it. Shame on you, Lifetime. You should know more than anyone that that man is danger! Tori asked to sleep with him, remember?

9:44 He asks her on a formal date. She changes from jeans and a black top into jeans and a grey top. When she comes out he whips off his sunglasses and gapes like the prom scene in an 80s movie.

9:51 He asks, “You want to get a cup of coffee?” They immediately have sex.

9:51 Oh my god, the bed spins. Oh, those poor actors.

10:00pm The heroine’s mother was a hooker? I don’t…really? (Also, she’s like, two years older than the heroine.)

10:15 My TV, in a desperate attempt to save me from myself, the move froze for two minutes.

10:15 Oh, Declan Fitzpatrick is the reincarnation of the woman. Dead Again: The Again-ening!

10:25 I thought the bad ye olde brother had a hooker in the living room. It’s supposed to be a brothel. My bad?

10:27 This movie is seriously people in the past doing interesting things, and people in the present just standing around slackjawed.

10:32 The junkie mom threatened to tell people Declan Fitzpatrick is a child molester, which will hurt his law practice day care center? I…wish the people from the past would come back.

10:41 The junkie mom is possessed by the evil ye olde brother and knocks Jerry down a flight of stairs. She speaks for us all, Declan Fitzpatrick!

10:42 Her: “Who did this?” Him: “Your mom.” APPLICABLE AT LAST.

10:50 Uh, thanks for that graphic screaming rape/murder scene, Lifetime! (I am not sure how this twist was a surprise to anyone, since it’s been obvious from flashback one, but okay.)

10:55 An athletic man gets his ass beat by a female, middle-aged drug addict, who is possessed by the spirit of ye olde bad brother, while the ghost of the evil mom looks on and the heroine rushes back to the scene of the crime as the wedding goes on downstairs and Faye Dunaway is wandering around being ominous. Dear movie, next time you could maybe front-load a little of this.

10:56 We have push-the-dagger-back-and-forth-itis!

11:00 Blah blah denoumentcakes. Jerry O’Connell, make a note: “fuhward” is not a word.

It’s airing again as of 11pm!