1. The first thing I did when I got home was make a pot of coffee and drink the whole thing. (I was seriously undercaffeinated all weekend, which, if you spoke with me whatsoever, I might have noticed.)

2. The second thing I did was watch Stephen King’s Desperation on SyFy, and laugh hysterically. And I am the world’s biggest weenie about anything vaguely resembling horror, so it takes a lot to show me hundreds of dead bodies and manage to NOT creep me out, but after the fifteenth tarantula-riddled corpse, I was cracking up. Did they build the town on a huge mating nest? Also, young woman stock character, is it necessary to scream every time you see one? It’s like your thirtieth corpse. Eventually it has to be old hat, right?

Steven Weber has the magical ability to look totally embarrassed in whatever he’s in, as if he’s sending a manful hostage note right through the camera to the audience. Best scene: while touring a Small Town Abandoned Place, he fondles a Foreign Artifact (hey-o!) and he and the young woman stock character have to pant at one another for two minutes, because you know how finding random artifacts on an office desk makes you frisky.

In true TV-movie fashion, not only does this encounter not affect the plot, it doesn’t even come up (HEY-O!) again in character beats. It’s just how Steven Weber rolls.

The best part of the entire thing is Ron Perlman, who knows when the time has come to chew scenery. Check out that pretty face. Third from the bottom is the best one. Jazz hands!

3. I’m still wasted-tired. The con reminded me of the “Gotta Dance” number in Singing in the Rain when Gene Kelly and company are on a pair of moving walkways, dancing manically and zooming back and forth and just missing one another.

Some things make a post!

1. I read last night at NYRSF for the Federations event, alongside K. Tempest Bradford, Allan Steele, and guest host John Joseph Adams. The other readings were great, and I managed not to pass out, which was my only goal for the evening. (I dream big.) The crowd was amazing – thanks to everyone who stopped by; it was lovely to have friendly faces to look at when I got nervous.

2. I got nervous a lot. My stage fright is no joke. (Actually, that’s not true. I called my mom ahead of time and made my usual, “I have the vapors, we’ll have to call off the cotillion!” crack, so technically it was a joke, even if I spent most of the evening trying not to barf up my own heart.)

3. When I got home, I sat down to unwind with the pilot of Warehouse 13. By the time I was finished, I wanted to throw myself out the window. What a terrible pilot, holy crap. I wrote it up for Tor.com, if anyone wants to know how SyFy’s new flagship show is!

4. Hint: it is terrible.

5. Tomorrow I leave for Readercon! I am very excited. I am also packing my bags with some vegetarian granola-type bars that will provide nutrition for me, and pre-mourning my impending, unfamiliar distance from my yuppie soy lattes.

Which makes me sound like Waldo, but worse things have happened. That guy knew what cool was long before Harry Potter showed up with his poser glasses.

May 16: I will be appearing on Hour of the Wolf with . I will be reading my story from his Federations anthology, and we will be talking shit about Star Trek. Luckily, since I think we’re both pretty pro-Picard, it won’t devolve into half-asleep protests of Kirk’s awesomeness accompanied by the sound of exhausted shoulder-punches.

May 20mumble-25: I’ll be at WisCon! I have one panel scheduled, on netbooks, which is hilarious considering the battery in my Acer just choked and died. That’ll be a fun panel.

July 9-12: Readercon! I am already preparing nutritional supplements to take with me, since this hotel is sorely lacking in vegetarian foodstuffs, and I had to keep asking for cheeseburgers with no meat. (Dear waitstaff of the world: I know, and I’m sorry, but seriously, if there’s no grilled cheese option then I am at a loss.) I will be bringing Powerbars or something now that I know the culinary situation. That won’t look dorky at all! *facepalm*