NBC is premiering their “New York is a kingdom! Also, have some Bible!” series, Kings, in about two weeks. I lay out the buzz over at Tor.com.

It’s based loosely on the Biblical story of the life of King David. I know a little about the life of King David, because I went to Catholic school on Monday nights after my secular school day. I would know more about the life of King David, but I got kicked out of CCD so often that I hardly had time to learn anything. It was fine, since I think I mostly missed out on coloring things and gluing cotton-ball sheep together to be lambs of the Lord. It went like this a lot:

[Genevieve is eight.]

Teacher: Let’s talk about King David. I hope everyone has read the story in their Children’s Bible? Good. Now, when David killed Goliath –
G: In the King James Bible in church it says that David put Bathsheba’s husband where he would be killed so David could marry her. Isn’t that a sin?
Teacher: Well, in the Children’s Bible –
G: Also he lay with her while she was married. Isn’t that –
Teacher: OUT IN THE HALL, MISS VALENTINE.

I was a little bastard, sure, but I still call shenanigans. They had the Bibles right out there in church! Mass lasted two hours; what else was I supposed to do but read up? Why is she getting angry with me for asking questions about the text? It is RIGHT THERE.*

I do want to see how the show handles things, and I’m wondering how much of the Bible stuff will be tweaked – will it end up super-religious? Will they use allusion? Will it be Verse-of-the-Week? I have no idea, because NBC is really not promoting it. We’ll find out in two weeks! Watch this space.

* Teacher: When Mary and Joseph married, they –
G: But Leviticus says that a man shouldn’t marry a whore, and Mary was pregnant and not married, so why –
Teacher: OUT IN THE HALL.