Welcome back to Channel Flip! We’re rounding third base, and what better time to break out a show that is vaguely physical-activity based? Time for the animated sequel to the show I’ll pretend to know nothing about, The Legend of Korra, which I actually DO know nothing about

Episode: “And the Winner Is..,” chosen at random

Timestamp: 00:07:51

We open with a young gent, with what looks like a sports arena behind him, leaning down and telling the camera, “I know you’re nervous, but you’re gonna do great. I believe in you!” to this dude:

This extremely well-dressed mammal speaks for all of us.

It IS a sports arena! Crowds! Tron-y elevated basketball court action! The announcer, who’s Howard Cosell-bending, introduces the match.

The Fire Ferrets, who look protagonisty, slide onto the ring. A film noir-y dame in Gladiatorial VIP Seating winks at the dullest, handsomest protag. He winks back. The young Fire Ferret I’m assuming is Korra makes a face. Someone has a boooooy situation! (Also someone else has amazing seating, that film noir lady has like half that section to herself.)

In the ring, the well-dressed mammal (fire ferret, I hope) jumps through a disc probably made of earth because of earthbending, even though it looks like a bizarro freeweight. People polite-clap.

Then the WOLFBATS are introduced, and they’re in capes and masks and fireworks go off, all meant to show this is a rigged game, but I also have to wonder what misnomer must have happened in the past for them to decide to have life-size bat masks made. “WE WILL NEVER BE CALLED THE WOOLBRATS EVER AGAIN.”

Fight! The animation of the disparate fighting styles is interesting, but with six people at once it’s hard to get a handle on it. Apparently people are cheating by making ice sheets, and by “people” I mean the Wolfbats, and by “apparently” I mean they are. The refs are picking their noses, and a grown dude with Aang’s head-arrow (but maybe is not Aang?) is PISSED about it with his woman friend, who has the look of someone who hasn’t learned to love our scrappy protagonist! (A lot is happening.)

The Wolfbats blow Dull’n’Handsome right over the ledge into the water below, and nearly get Korra and the earthbender, except Korra has arms like a tow truck:

And because her hand’s still in the ring, it counts, because suddenly the refs are looking! They survive into Round 2.

Korra declares, “If the Wolfbats are going to fight dirty, so should we!” God, if I had a nickel for every time I’d said that. But Dull’n’Handsome isn’t having it! If the refs are dirty, then they’ll have to stay totally in the rules in order to win. Fair point, Dull’n’Handsome.

Round Two is one-on-one? Sure! Korra gloriously waterpunches the living shit out of Wolfbat #1, in a move so badass they replay it. Victory!

Public opinion is mixed.

Round 3 and 4 go so fast I don’t understand what’s happening at all, and then the Wolfbats slam our heroes with rock-filled waterbombs and they’re out of there. Howard Cosellbender’s furious, but the refs are picking their teeth with “I Was Bribed” cards and don’t care.

So it’s the Wolfbats! The Wolfbats win the day, coining a hundred more Wolf Bat-related idioms. Cheating like a Wolfbat! Rude as a Wolfbat! Man, that meeting was like fighting a team of Wolfbats, wasn’t it? Sure was!

We cut to the crowd as several people pull masks over their faces, which is never a good sign, and the music switches to Impending Doom as they electrocute the shit out of several adults! And Maybe-Aang and his friend! This kids’ show is not messing around. (Howard Cosellbender goes out awesomely.)

In the water, our heroes see the problem and move to hide – good call, except a bad guy’s already there. So Korra tries to watersmack him – good call, except he ELECTROCUTES THEM. Wow, this plot has taken a TURN.

The masked folks approach the ring. Wolfbat #1 asks the timeless question, “You want a piece of the Wolfbats?” before fighting. They do! However, the piece those guys take is the “ability to move your arms” piece, which is a serious design flaw in a bending art that relies solely on hand projections.

The masked leader approaches, and Wolfbat screams, “Please don’t take my bending!” HE DOES THOUGH. Damn.

Then the mask turns to the crowd, and as he says, “Every day you threaten and abuse your fellow non-bending citizens, just like the Wolfbats did to their opponents tonight,” I’m reminded that this is a show for kids where that kind of thing has to be spelled out, and also that my time is up.

What It All Means, I Guess:

There’s a lot going on in this ten minutes (plot moves at the speed which time allows, as a rule), but I’d say the biggest lesson I took away from this ten minutes is gratitude that I got timestamp when I did, because if that’s true, then that sounds like the beginning of a serious moral quagmire.

I also want to talk about this guy, who draws his steampunk glove out of his popcorn just before the coup:

I’m assuming that, as with any sports venue, you can’t bring your own food. So you carried this inside some other bag, and then stuck it in your popcorn, super-casually, so you could super-casually pull it back out at the opportune moment. Isn’t your glove just oily and full of kernels now? Helping or hurting, henchman? Helping or hurting.