So, Disney bought Marvel. I punned around over at Tor.com about it, because when a disaster this bad creaks into being, you should laugh before you run screaming from the corporate behemoth that is coming for you and your children, you know?
P.S. When I was a kid, my granddad bought me five stocks of Disney. In other news, today I’m going to buy a house with a pool.
P.P.S. I’ve gotten a couple of hilarious anonymous comments on my LJ since that article went up, including one about how normal people don’t shop at Goodwill. Oh, the internet; where quality folks will always find you.
My first reaction to this trailer: “Rachel Weisz! Hypatia of Alexandria! Strings music! Saving libraries! I’M IN.”
My second reaction to this trailer: “Oh, so the…and they’re all…with the people of color…and they’re vicious, mindless killers who…look, why don’t I just add this to A Night at the Movies and save us some time, okay?”
The power of editing.
Ugh, and I had been looking forward to this movie, because it was about a woman whose goal was something more than getting a dude and working hard in her job at a magazine! Hollywood, this is why we can’t have nice things.
1. This predicts the Internet – all library books, all the time! Available for homework purposes only, of course. None of those smutty novels for you, little Jimmy and Susie!
2. This also assumes that as soon as there’s a big enough electricity grid, of course we’ll switch to electric, because why wouldn’t we?
There’s nothing quite so disheartening as vintage looks at our hopes for the future, you know?
3. Basset hounds: the official dog of the future. Apparently this is a spaniel? With enormous jowls? Also with no back legs. Floating lumps: the official dog of the future? WHAT FRESH HORRORS AWAIT US?
ETA: Those slats above the patio are driving me NUTS. Just enough cover to have to wash it off all the time when the bugs build nests in it, but not enough to provide any actual shade!
So, Megan Fox, acknowledged by all including her employers to be a suck actress, is in the running to be Catwoman. There are rumors she has already signed.
I took it straight to Tor.com, because some things just aren’t right, and Megan Fox being cast in roles that require actual acting is one of them. I let it go when her role was “Head Prostitute” in Jonah Hex (because where do you even BEGIN to complain about that?), but she’s been rumored for so many leading roles (most of them for comic-book projects) that there’s clearly something up.
To conclude: Christopher Nolan, do you have a concussion? First it was Katie Holmes, now it’s going to be Megan Fox, DEAR GOD NO JUST CAST RACHEL WEISZ ALREADY, DAMN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Miss Universe is a beauty pageant that’s about more than just beauty. It’s a tribute to international cooperation. It’s a tribute to modern sensibilities.
It’s a tribute to Hostage Face.
“Come watch the dreams of dozens get mercilessly crushed!” Continue reading
