Category: Pageants
Miss Universe 2015
Miss Universe 2015 You know, 2015 has been deeply questionable in innumerable ways, but one thing it has undeniably brought us is two Miss Universe contests in one year. We have seriously lucked out, getting TWO National Costume events at a pageant that has only this year escaped from under the repulsive thumb of Donald Trump and into the hands of corporate overlords who aren’t famous enough yet for us to know how repulsive they are.…
Miss Universe 2014
Miss Universe 2014Last night the Miss Universe pageant, which is technically Miss Universe 2014 but dithered until it became simply the 63rd Annual, began with the National Costume Contest. About six weeks from now, my latest novel, PERSONA, hits shelves. Persona is a political thriller (diplomats, assassinations, the usual), but of course one of the most fascinating aspects of statecraft is the ways it asks you to set aside your identity for something else’s sake; often you don’t get to decide, and maybe you don’t even realize until later what exactly is gone.…
Miss Universe 2013
Miss Universe 2013Miss Universe is back! It’s time for everyone involved to pretend this is a contest about various national costumes for thirty seconds until we all just admit it’s a tacky-off and settle in for a global backscatter of spangles. After a while tracking this particular costume competition event, you start to feel the general shape of it: the undersea themers, the feather-wearers, those few brave souls who didn’t understand the memo and actually showed up in a national costume, and my secret favorites, the ones who didn’t get a memo of any kind and started their costumes the night before, and the ones who are also completely over this component and make it deliciously clear.…
Miss Universe 2012
Miss Universe 2012Every year, there are eleventy billion beauty pageants worldwide, all of which are amazing and unsettling in their own special ways. However, for sheer Essence of Pageant, I’m not sure you can beat the National Costume segment of Miss Universe. I’ve enjoyed writing some of these costumes up for the past three years – in fact, I have probably enjoyed seeing them much more than many of these contestants have enjoyed wearing them.…
Miss Universe 2011
Miss Universe 2011Miss Universe! Yes, it’s that time again, when hopeful young ladies gather from all around the world to grin their beautiful hostage grins into the camera, and to be dressed like fools in “National Dress” by horrible pageant planners secretly trying to test what young ladies are willing to wear on camera.…
Miss Universe 2010
Miss Universe 2010Last year I covered Miss Universe’s National Costume Contest. I didn’t realize when this year’s was, but it was pointed out that pictures were out and I had better get started. I’m not sure who the actual winner of this event is (I think that doesn’t happen until Monday?). Since I have a different criteria than the judges of the pageant – they enjoy “bras that look like eyeballs” and I enjoy “Icelandic schoolmarm” – I wasn’t sure exactly how to go about picking a winner of my own.…